America’s Super Bowl LVIII is the highest intensity and is more important than ever

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Super Bowl LVIII is the single most important Super Bowl of our lives, and not just because I Googled the Roman numerals to find out what edition we were in.

In my defense, I’m not the most cultured person in the room. Ninety-nine percent of the foreign countries I visited were at EPCOT.

But there is no doubt that this year’s big game in Las Vegas will be the biggest in our country’s history. Yes, that’s the same thing they say about every election but to be clear, this is it nothing related to politics.

In fact, President Biden is skipping the traditional pregame TV interview – and it’s just as well because he’d probably spend the entire time bashing Donald Trump. That could get old in a hurry, although it would be nice to see Joe talk about the president LIVE for once.

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This Super Bowl is all the more important because it is the last great piece of common culture we have left in these divided times. Let’s face it, these days the only time you see Republicans and Democrats together is on Epstein’s Fly List. The Super Bowl is a three-hour opportunity for Americans to put aside our differences and do what we do best: pig out.

We didn’t become the fattest country in the world because we like to fight about politics on Twitter, or X, or whatever dumb name Elon Musk gets stoned and a ‘ give the next thing. No, the reason America looks like a “previous model” compared to the rest of the world is because we love food and the mindless escape that comes from cutting it. down while we watch TV.

The Super Bowl is the ultimate YES and you don’t have to be a football fan to enjoy this special round of culinary chaos.

For starters, the adverts will give you the chance to see famous people from every era, with this year’s line-up expected to include iconic names such as Christopher Walken for BMW and Willie Nelson for Bic Lighters, alongside newer faces such as Aubrey Plaza for Mountain Dew and Jelly Roll for Uber Eats. If you’re wondering, there’s no famous ad for Alaska Airlines, which is surprising considering the competition is blowing their doors off. AHEM.

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As for the music, you’ll have images of Reba McEntire singing the National Anthem before the game and Usher breaking it down during the Halftime Show. And if that wasn’t enough, Taylor Swift, the biggest pop star of our time, is expected to perform after the game. But enough about Travis Kelce’s hotel room.

Taylor Swift wears the jacket of Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce as she arrives before the NFL wild card playoff football game between the Chiefs and the Miami Dolphins on Saturday, Jan. 13, 2024, in Kansas City, Mo. (AP Photo/Ed Zurga)

The point I’m trying to make, one scene at a time, is that America’s Super Bowl is the Super Bowl, the one game of the year that non-football fans watch for. the greatness of everything.


And in true Vegas fashion, they’ve sweetened the pot and given a big middle finger to the frenzy that has divided us at every turn by featuring a Native American mascot on the most widely broadcast television of the year. Yes, it destroyed the culture of the Washington Redskins logo and sent the Cleveland Indians to that giant battery box in the sky, but 130 million viewers are expected to see the Kansas City Chiefs take the field and nothing that the social justice guards can do to stop. because local tribes have given their full blessing to the team.

For my money, assuming I have anything left after a few nights in Vegas, this might be the biggest deal of them all. Reminder, long before social media came along and changed America from “Shining City on a Hill” to “Real Housewives” on Bravo, there was free time to fight in this country where football was just a game and it was just life. party.

The Super Bowl is our one night of the year to get back to that time and that’s why I’m not telling you to look for the players, the pop stars, or even the pop tarts.

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I am telling you that you will tune in to America, and that you will win. (You can thank me by not telling the wardrobe department how many wings I eat.)

Happy Super Bowl, America.


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